When we read, see, hear of some event, ranging from comic to tragic, it's always about somebody else.

Until it isn't … and we become "somebody else's somebody else."

To my community,

As you may all now be aware, a video has started making the rounds on social media platforms and an international daily newspaper about an incident of a faculty member at a U.S. university, being arrested for alleged intoxication and disorderly conduct on her university campus, post-graduation, charges which have since been dismissed.

In all cases, there are always two sides to a story and often in social media, reports and videos are often modified to spin a narrative, true or false and rarely showing the full story. In the context of Dr. Ellen Glickman (me), the video that spread like wildfire on the internet was out of context and was edited in such a way that it skewed what actually happened and lacked important information for anyone watching the video to make an informed judgment of the situation. I have now firsthand experienced the curse social media has on a person, as it has come to rest squarely at my doorstep. Here’s what you didn’t see, hear or read.

Over the past year or so, I have experienced a number of health-related setbacks that necessarily impact how I function in the world, as my health issues have led to chronic pain and consequent surgeries. At work, the previous summer, I had fallen off my desk chair and fractured my wrist, I also fell while playing with my grand-children and severely damaged my shoulder – requiring two painful surgeries and permanent nerve damage. These injuries impact my dexterity, and the claim that was made by the officer, “that she couldn’t even use a swipe card,” was not due to intoxication but an impairment to my dexterity from my injuries.

In addition to these recent physical limitations, I had been extremely exhausted as leading up to the night of graduation, I stayed overnight with my husband who had major surgery on his abdomen. We all know that visitors don’t get beds in hospitals, so sleeping is not ideal in hospitals as a guest. This event was even more stressful, because the surgery for my husband was to determine if he might have cancer. So, sleep deprived and stressed about a life-threatening illness for my husband, I still went to work and powered through. I even attended an evening graduation (the fateful night of my arrest), because I was there to hood a doctoral student who had recently defended her dissertation – an honor bestowed to both the faculty member and the student. After commencement, we had a single celebratory drink to welcome the newly hooded doctoral student, a common practice for faculty to welcome new members to the academy – we are not a dry campus, so this was well within campus regulation. I then made the 10-minute walk back to my office, only to find that my keycard was no longer working.

I won’t lie. I was exhausted, not just from my health issues, but also the stress and exhaustion of my husband’s health crisis. All of the events leading up to this naturally inflamed my system — making regular bodily functions go haywire. This, my friends, is why I was pleading so desperately to the police on the phone. To be a woman over 60, with irritable bowel disease, and completely exhausted – I was in a state of panic because I did not know when I was going to be able to reach the restroom. Yes, it is embarrassing, yes, I was direct, but I was in pain and I panicked. Who hasn’t panicked in such a situation, where a bathroom is desperately needed, but one is nowhere in sight?

I would also like you to consider that the most common situations that individuals act “out of character,” is during extreme emotional situations, stress, exhaustion, and when our bodily needs aren’t being met. What you saw on the video was not the case of an angry “Karen,” but of a woman who has dedicated her life to a community to educate and train students, who painfully needed to use the restroom and was exhausted.

In all fairness, I did not communicate to the police that I had all of this going on – how could I? All I could think about was getting to a restroom! They automatically assumed that my response was due to intoxication. Research shows that when exhausted, impairment is similar to intoxication from alcohol – but it is not illegal to drive tired (it is just ill-advised).

I also want to provide my community with a context for my communication style. I’m a native New Yorker, and to respond strongly and directly in such a state is typical. My colleagues understand that my directness is culturally based and a product of my discipline. To hold my own, I have to speak directly if I want to be heard. I am a petite (5ft 1 inch, 110 lbs) woman in a man-dominated STEM discipline. When I started in academia, I was one of very few women in Exercise Science. The first day I walked into the lab, I was confronted by a group of men wearing hats that said “BAS” (aka b$%ches ain’t sh%$). So, I adopted the speaking style of my men counterparts and deviate from what is canonically feminine, because I had to learn how to survive in a man-dominated discipline. However, if you do not know me, as a woman speaking directly, I understand that I come across as rude and not acting “like a woman should act.” Naturally, the police misunderstood the purpose for the urgency in my voice.  The stereotyped me, because “women shouldn’t act like this,” — but in a professional world, women must often be direct to be effective, especially when men don’t listen. 

This is what likely led to the decision the officers made to push their assumption that I was intoxicated.  From the police video, one can clearly see I had no difficulty walking nor opening my office door with a regular key (which didn’t require me to lift my arm to swipe). However, the campus police neither asked me to walk for them nor did they offer a breathalyzer test. They did not even consider an alternative reason for why I may be responding this way. They made a judgment and carried it out – at their own discretion.

While I was changing from my doctoral regalia, you can even hear the police joking because I said I had a Tesla and could drive. I meant, I am tired, and my Tesla can help me get home because of its safety features. Several times I was asked to call someone to take me home, and I continually refused — because I was not drunk and I was arguing against the accusation. Yes, I was tired, and I should have called someone, but I was confused as to why they kept implying I was drunk. When I finally, relented, the officer said it was too late and that I “had my chance.” After rest, I understand that the stereotypes about how women should speak and behave is likely the root cause of the misunderstanding.

This is frustrating because this communicates that women are not allowed to stand up for themselves and stereotyping leads to arrests – we see this happen so often to marginalized groups. So, I naturally went into “fight” mode, trying to talk my way out of it – because I realized what was actually happening. And this is how I came across as “entitled.” Wouldn’t you try to do everything you could, outside of physical aggression, to try to defend your personal autonomy?

At the end of the day, the case was dismissed at a pre-trial hearing. I am and always have been a law-abiding citizen. Not one above the law, but respecting the law. Am I sorry that this happened? Yes. Am I sorry for the impact this has had on my colleagues and students? Yes, I am eternally regretful for the impact that this all has had on my colleagues and students. And I will work to make amends for the damage this has all caused. Am I sorry that I am a woman with a strong personality? No. Does it communicate to me and other women in professional settings that we have to stay quiet, passive, and calm? Yes. 

I will never apologize for standing up for myself. But I do take responsibility and ownership for how my communication style will come across and recognize that information is power. My goal is to work on communicating information, so that I can help fight stereotypes against myself and others.  

I ask the community to please consider that I am a person. The hate-mail isn’t helpful. If you are angry, ask a question. Don’t just assume and vilify me based on skewed information. We all have bad days, and I would hate to see your bad day spread across the internet. 

Let’s take care of each other. Any of us could find ourselves in a similar situation.

Yours Truly, 

Ellen Glickman, Ph.D.